Jessica Gazzola

“In the beginning…”

Culture, science and religion offer us versions of “the beginning.” I grew up in a Christian church and culture that had it’s own story that didn’t resonate on every level, but had familiarity going for it. It hadn’t occurred to me to try to write a creation story for myself. But that’s what seven Soul Sisters (that’s what we call each other) attempted this past week. We’re a group of women spanning in age from thirty-something to rounding 80.  We’ve been meeting for five plus years to engage in Soul Work, healing for our own souls and the Soul of the Earth.  We began a new book recently to bring us deeper into our spiritual practices and our first assignment was to write our own creation story.

My story percolated for weeks until I finally sat down and let it pour out of me during one of Amos’ nap times.  It was one of those awesome, “Holy sh**!  Where did that come from!” moments.  It’s not a theology (so, theology geeks, hands off!), but more of an autobiography; a personal metaphorical story of how I experience creation happening in my own heart and life.

In our Soul Work group last Sunday, everyone shared their stories. The air buzzed with awe, gratitude, paradox, poetry, uncertainty and so much love between seven ordinary women attempting to touch the most sacred of non-ordinary realities.  I humbly offer my story here:

In the beginning there was Emptiness.  Emptiness contained everything and nothing, but Stillness kept all Her secrets.

The first sign that something was changing came with a churning from within Emptiness.  That churning was named Restlessness and He wooed Stillness from her post and let loose secrets quieted for many eons.

Suddenly, around the edges of Emptiness, doors began to appear.  Restlessness found His opportunity and formed into the shape of a key and found His way to the doors.  There were doors of various shapes and sizes and weights and textures.  Some doors remained locked to Him while others allowed their lock to be turned and opened.

On the other side of each threshold a different scene lay wait – some were beautiful and serene; others were violent and harsh.  With each threshold crossed, Restlessness would find voice – sometimes it was a whisper, sometimes a howl, other times a shout or a squeak or a laugh.  The sounds echoed in the chambers and turned into life – plants and animals and rocks and rivers – imbued with the undying energy originating in Emptiness.  Then Restless retreated back into Emptiness.

One day a creature, created out of Restlessness’ cry of Ecstasy, stumbled across a door.  Since the creature’s nature was to seek union, they were disturbed by this blatant barrier to something unseen.  The door captured all of their attention and it became a ritual to visit the door each day.  The creature began to gather objects and bring them to the door, trying to coax it open.

One day, the creature fell asleep at the door’s threshold and they dreamed the door opened.  When the creature awoke the door was ajar.  When the creature pushed the door open they were blinded by the brightness on the other side.  The creature was swallowed up by the Light and seemed to disappear.

No one knew what became of the creature or where it went.  Until one day she emerged, cloaked in garments for travel and eyes shining, illuminated from within.  She spoke to the other creatures of Emptiness and Restlessness and the door to the Light.  Some scoffed, others questioned, and some looked in her eyes and saw their own true reflection.

Many creatures have found the door, some through seeking and others by accident.  Unprepared for the journey, some never return.  But those who do become an emissary of the Light and their truth sets them free.

When you follow your bliss… doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.
Joseph Campbell