Jessica Gazzola

When I worked in parish ministry, and still when I preside at weddings, I am often confused for someone else – the secretary, the photographer, the wedding planner, or a bridesmaid.  I don’t mind.  I don’t wear my priesthood on my sleeve.  I grew up with men at the altar and it took me time to adjust to seeing a woman there.  I had to experience Masses that “felt right” with a woman presiding.    I know why people look a little tense, why their eyes study every move I make, every word… they’re waiting to recognize God, or at least something appropriately sacramental, echoing in a female register.   I guess that’s what they’re thinking.  I’m happier not knowing everything people think (a lesson learned in parish life).

In the beginning of my ministry I wondered, “Do I need to lower my voice; wish people a “blessed day;” glue a smile on my face; wear a clerical collar?”  I tried all those things attempting to be more “priestly.”  But I learned that God shows up, not when I’m pretending to be a priest, but when I’m being me, perfectly imperfect me.  Incarnation*, people… it’s startling and real.

I found a lovely community of perfectly imperfect women clergy that share their journeys through their writing.  RevGalsBlogPals come from diverse traditions.  Our politics, family lives, and personalities span the human spectrum.  The only thing we have in common is our gender, our call to serve, and the crazy (inside and out) that accompanies that vocation.

There’s a Woman in the Pulpit is the latest attempt to pull together some of these female voices into book form.  On one level it’s a glimpse into the particular challenges of being a woman and clergy.  But it’s also a compilation of stories from unique people living into the nearly impossible daily goal of reflecting God through their humanity.  This book makes it clear that no two women understand their ministry in exactly the same way and that women can do all things through God that strengthens them (Phil. 4:15).  In fact, they’ve been doing all things for millennia, there’s just a Facebook group for it now.

 I need these stories to be reminded that I’m not alone in this sometimes lonely journey.  But I also wish church members would read these stories, whether or not their pastor is a woman, to gain insight into this unique way of life.  I’m over a year removed from parish ministry and reading these stories unearthed the weariness of mind, body and spirit that can come with this vocation.  These personal narratives bear witness to strong, gifted, vulnerable, empathic, steely spirited humans who sometimes need support (and a vacation).

This RevGalBlogPal is taking a break from parish life, ministering to children and chickens (yes, chickens!  More to come about our newest members of the household, Ruby and Pearl).  But I reverence the heroic women who might look like a greeter or your daughter or your mother.  It’s okay.  There’s a woman in the pulpit and she supposed to be there.

*Incarnation is the Christian doctrine of God becoming human.