Jessica Gazzola

I visited my Alma Mater last week.  Reliving those angst filled formative years offered unexpected gifts.

I was once ashamed of my college experience – or seeming lack thereof.  I was so timid.  I struggled to enjoy plastic solo cups and crowded rooms. I tried to understand the appeal, but efforts to fit in left me drained.  My fondest college memories are housed in quiet chapels and hidden corners of libraries.

But the parts that brought me shame I embrace with all the affection of a long-loved friend.   I no longer worry about seeming antisocial, cold or judgmental… anyone close to me knows I am none of those things.  The quiet drama unfolding all around me, hidden and wonderful, gives me such pleasure.  Where once my intuition seemed like an overactive sensitivity, an allergy, it is now my barometer for how to live a simple happy life.

I find it edifying to feel confidence where there was once fear; peace, where these was anxiety. There is no less uncertainty about what the future will bring but now uncertainty signals adventure instead of abyss.

Looking back through eyes aged a bit, I can recognize the seeds of my life as it begins to flower today; the muted colors of beauty waiting for a nurturing hand.  My life is not flashy or overly complicated – and it’s perfect – like a warm cup of coffee, a book, and a quiet library nook.